Ten Texan Tourist Traps: Delightfully Dazzling or Dreadful?

1. The Alamo (300 Alamo Plaza, San Antonio, TX 78205) Unapologetically Texas in its revolutionary spirit and heartbreaking sacrifice la Cormac McCarthy's Blood Meridian, yet tragically overcommercialized like a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western.

2. Cadillac Ranch (13651 I40 Frontage Rd., Amarillo, TX 79124) A vibrant display of auto art reminiscent of Lichtenstein's popart; alas also an intersection of consumerism and graffiti against the very Americana landscape it represents.

3. Big Texan Steak Ranch (7701 I40 Access Road, Amarillo, TX 79118) Feeding Kerouaclike hunger for Highway cuisine with stupefying steak portions fit for a Goliath sized cowboy while risking devolution into gluttonous selfparody.

4. Blue Bell Creameries (1101 South Blue Bell Rd., Brenham ,TX 77833) Offering respite from the unforgiving Texan heat with symphonies akin to Mozarts Sweet Suite but can quickly turn into touristfilled sugarfueled cacophonies.

5. Sixth Street (Austin ,TX ) Austins vibrant musical heartbeat pulsates with Robert Rodriguezesque energy welcoming Willie Nelson loving patrons just as much as those seeking Dirty Sixth escapades teetering between zeninducing tunes and rowdy excessiveness.

6. Marfa Lights Viewing Area (US Route 67 & U.S Hwy90 Marfa,TX79843) A paranormal spectacle submerged in ethereal magic at first sight captured delicately by Eggers narrative prose until swallowed by merchandising stereotypes mimicking kitschy alien encounters.

7.Deep Ellum(Dallas,TX75226) Birthplace of blues legends crowned with artistic embellishments as regal as Franzens prose but marred by endless gentrification clashes threatening to compromise its soulful roots.

8. Gruene Dance Hall(1281 Gruene Rd, New Braunfels,TX78130) Authentic Texan music temple where iconic harmonies waltz with local traditions feeling like a page from Lonesome Dove yet an abundance of tourists could gradually drown the folkloric melodies in honkytonk twang.

9. Dr.Pepper Museum (300 South 5th St.Waco,TX76701) A shrine celebrating fizzy Americana dreamy enough for Don DeLillo to pen down those rosycheeked vignettes distorted by modernday soda industry machinations nevertheless.

10.South Padre Island(Texas US 77) Imagine DFW's Infinite Jest setting on a Texas beach eclectic and heavenly enclave attracting spring breakers transforming it into debaucherous battleground of intoxicated revelry stripped off its natural serenity.

Be sure to visit these charming destinations at your own discretion; one can find both passionate beauty and ignoble follies dancing together in this ensemble of Texan tourist traps.